Thanksgiving and Toxic Family

This weekend brought out the first sunlight I have seen in a couple of weeks. It is funny how the weather can effect our mood so much. Not that I have been a grump for two weeks, but my spirits are definitely lifted by the returning sunlight.

With Thanksgiving just around the corner, I tend to dwell on the past more than I like to admit. My extended family is quite divided. Though I am very happy to spend this Thanksgiving with my family (the ones that still talk to each other) I get lost in thought over the family that will not be attending. Every year I wonder if someone will return to our lives, and every holiday season shop for their Christmas gift even if I won't be buying it.

Holidays can do that to us I suppose. I wonder, since I think of lost family so much this time of year, if they, too, get caught up in the same whirlwind of memories. Our family has gone its separate ways for good reason. I do believe that not having some people come is for the best. Though, I know I may be judged for feeling this way, I can only say that walking away from family is never an easy decision. So when that decision is made I think people who have not been in such a position should just feel lucky that it isn't them that had to make it.

What I do know, and what I have learned is that I must hold onto the family that I have with extra thanks. That I intend on raising my children with the intent that they will out live me and will someday only have each other. I can only instill to them the importance of communicating through their differences and finding love and acceptance of each other at the end of every disagreement. I can only imagine how my family relationships would have been if we had such habits ourselves.

A toxic relationship can be a friend, a spouse, a parent, anyone. And it is never okay. Whether you are bonded by blood or not, Relationships of any kind should be built on respect, boundaries, and love. This Thanksgiving I will be sitting down with my family. Family that loves and respects me, and I couldn't be happier. And as usual, when my thoughts drift to those that are not attending, I will send a good thought. I picture them surrounded by people who love them and hope that they feel as grateful for it as I do.