To write about our journey or my journey?

So the month has begun and I have been trying to write a little something every day. I figure at some point (hopefully, this week) I will begin a rhythm with writing my next book. I look at my next book in two different ways, which may be the culprit for my writer's block. Reaching The Castle Wall is about the journey to finding true love.

On one hand, I can write about efforts I made to find prince charming, all the frogs I had to kiss. I do want to have some diversity in its content. I do not just want it to be love poems. I have found stirring up the heartache of the past to be rather difficult. I am in a very happy place and just can't seem to connect to those old feelings. I figure I can use actual fairy tales as a means to at least focus on empathizing with that heartache.

On the other hand, I could write about what happened when I found my prince charming, and our journey. He started as just a friend, and stayed just a friend (albeit, my very best friend) for about six years. Once we decided to be more, or more so, admitted we were in love, things moved very quickly after that. We figured dating was for people who didn't know each other and wanted to be sure they were right for each other. We already knew each other so very well. We had no doubt. A month later we bought a house together and about four months after that we were married. This June will be year five.

So I have a choice to make. I can either focus on writing about our journey, or I can dig into the past and write about my journey. In the meantime, I am composing a list of writing prompts. This book is to be based and inspired by actual fairy tales. Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, etc.... I won't write so much about the story of Rapunzel (for example) but perhaps how I relate to Rapunzel. I will reference a tall tower or a long braid, almost just hinting at who inspired the poem. Also, some of the keywords will simply be from that era kings, queens, crowns, dragons, moat, swords and armor.

I am open to suggestions if anyone has a favorite fairy tale or references I should consider (poison apple, glass slipper, golden thread, etc...) I am sure there are a number of words I am not even thinking of.

Like the oil painting above? There are a few more here, I got it from this site: http://www.buzzfeed.com/samimain/gorgeous-disney-ladies-as-if-they-were-oil-portraits#2qpit42

I am going to do a slam :[

Well, it's official. I have signed up on nanowrimo.org with intent of writing quite a bit next month. Does poetry count for a month designated to novel writing? Probably not, but I think a goal of heavy writing all month is a good idea. It will be refreshing to really get into my current book. I gave myself a deadline for finishing. It has to be ready and published by Valentine's Day 2016. That gives me well over a year, to write, have it edited, some illustrations, and publish. I am excited to see what I come up with this time. Most days, I agree with the quote above. Everyone's poetry is so different from mine. I suppose we are all very different and it just seems like I stand out because it is my own writing.

At the co-book signing I shared the audience with two other writers. We all had a common thread in our writing but were all incredibly different in how we wrote and spoke. I know I haven't followed up on how my first signing went, that is simply because I didn't want to think about it till now. The truth is it was absolutely terrifying. I got myself so worked up with nerves, I am surprised I even got through it. I shook like a leaf, I had a hard time looking up at everyone. It was awful.

On the other hand, I had such support from my family. Sometimes putting yourself out there can really surprise you. They really came through for me.  I think my main issue wasn't just sitting in front of others and reading, it was the intro I had prepared. For the first time ever, I spoke openly about my childhood, about the verbal and emotional abuse I endured and recovered from. I didn't think that would be as difficult as it was. I wonder if there will always be a sense of shame that accompanies that history, or if I will ever truly just accept its happening and be able to speak about it as if I wasn't speaking about myself.... perhaps that is the key to future readings. Pretend I am talking about someone other than myself, but then what would happen to the emotion in the words I am reading?

I guess we will find out. I have decided that I will do a poetry slam in the next month. Listening to the other poet/author, who is a veteran when it comes to slams, I feel I have now an idea of the style and tempo that would be suited for such an event. I thought to myself as I listened to her, "I need something far more gritty than flowers and trees." I have had a little something I thought would be appropriate for a slam and after listening to her I think it will suit very well.

I look forward to your feedback....

It's titled "Triggered"

I doubt myself now

Seems my way is truly lost

For so long you told me who I was

And who I am to be today

I live in this doubt

I question everything I say and do

Nothing is without rhyme or reason

So few are moments of self acceptance

Who is this person you made me to be?

Tell Me! What did you want for me?

Was it truly just to serve you?

Indentured to your every need

Floundering without your voice

Slumped without your backbone

Is this really what you want for me?

To only live as you say

What mother wants this for her child?

What Queen births slaves?

The whip cracked along my back

And scars that still remain

My finger is always on the trigger

It seeks only you and I find you

In every person I meet

And they become my victim

I love them never as you did me

A true love as it is supposed to be

And yet I anticipate that you

Will come creeping out of their mouths

And I am always ready for you

With my finger on the trigger

And then it occurs-it happens

The moment when I think I see you

In an expression or a phrase

I hear your voice. I pull the trigger

…… And shot the one I love

He looks at me in shock

He is appalled that I could do such a thing

He is betrayed

And no longer knows me

I don’t see you now

Your face could not hold such hurt

As one who truly loved me

I only see the pain I caused the one I love

He was never you

Your voice, your way

Never came from him at all

It came from me

I aim with my finger on the trigger.

Through The Trees Book Trailer

With a little time and effort my book trailer for Through The Trees is finally here. This is a big difference from the poem videos I did. A little research and practice can lead to great things! I am super pleased and I hope everyone likes it!!!

Autumn Leaves

Facebook voted for pic #2: Which do you prefer?

The Maple Tree Queen

Twitter voted for pic one...

Someday

Time to start working on the next project. My next book title is "Reaching the Castle Wall" poetry based on finding love. From love at first sight to the first kiss, and heartache as well as finding true love, I want to encompass the entire journey of finding that one someone who makes you happy.

Someday

“Someday I will go there.”  He says to himself,

“Someday with time and quite a bit of wealth.”

But he can dream of this wonderful someday

How else does it come to be, this “someday”?

What is a dream? If it not a lofty plan?

To what one can do, be he a courageous man

So we gather our pennies this courageous man and I

And set to dreaming of where we can fly

It will be years if not decades for us reach

The land afar with a white sandy beach

But once we go we could not be caught

In just one place to which we plot

No, the dream is a just gateway

Just a single step into a doorway

And from a dream it will birth such a life

That no one could fathom no matter the strife

One place will lead to another

An endless world of adventurous wonder

And my courageous man will lead me

And I- I will follow him freely

Hand in hand, in a distant land

Finally arriving to where we planned

An adventure awaits us and we are on our way

To a place we dreamed and called “Someday”

The Sun and The Vine by Nina C. Palmer

The Raining by Nina C Palmer