The Poem That Inspired A Book

Falling in love can be terrifying, especially when we have come from heartache. Although, without that heartache could we truly appreciate or even simply recognize love at all? Life is about perspective. It can be difficult to change when our emotions seem to be fully in charge.

Perhaps this is where the saying "time heals all wounds" comes from. With given time, our emotions change and fade and lend way to a new perspective. This is certainly true for me. I have had my heart broken or at least I had thought so. I realize now mostly my hopes were dashed. I experienced great disappointments. The fact is with a little perspective you realize how wrong someone is for you. I would kick myself over how upset I would be over someone who clearly didn't feel the same way about me. Phsst, why bother with them? In fact, they did me a favor.

Enough disappointment can bring one into quite a pit of despair. Doubt and fear are strong adversaries to hope and courage. However, it is a choice. Down to the sheer chemistry of the matter, our emotions do not rule our thoughts. It's the other way around. What we think is what we eventually feel. That was an important lesson for me.

Hope is all one really needs and good perspective. I see now that my love is stronger than I thought it could be simply because of how much I appreciate how much I am loved. I only can love and appreciate this much because of the heartache I suffered in my past.

I hope that encourages someone to pick themselves up and press on with the hope that true love is just around the corner.

Fear

It seemed so long ago that I was afraid

Fear was my ruler and he was ruthless

It only took but a dashing man to my aid

To free my heart and it became boundless

And so I followed this dashing man

An adventure began at once

With all my courage I took his hand

And left ruthless fear in the dust

The deserted ruler left to demise

Over my shoulder he will sometimes leer

But I find these days I am more wise

No longer a stunned and frozen deer

I send him back with bark and bellow

To his dark and fruitless lands

The trail he leaves behind is yellow

Painted by the tail he drags

My dashing man still at my side

Together fear will not live here

For he is banished countrywide

In a land that will not be ruled by fear

Psychologytoday.com Just reviewed my book! What an honor!

http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201410/friend-first-sight/healing-toxic-relationship

I am over the moon excited today! Dr Heitler, Phd and author just reviewed and recommended my book on Psychologytoday.com! It is amazing to have someone so accredited look at my work and see how it can help others. I am so thankful and truly honored.

Here are the books that Dr Heitler has published.

The Power of Two: Secrets of a Strong and Loving Marriage

The Power of Two Workbook: Communication Skills for a Strong & Loving Marriage
David Decides About Thumbsucking: A Story for Children, a Guide for Parents 
Depression A Disorder of Power
Anxiety Friend or Foe?

Through The Trees Book Release

It has been a year in the making and finally it is here. My book, Through The Trees, is finally available for purchase at amazon.com (click here)

I say a "year in the making" but really it is a "lifetime in the making" that brought this book into existence. I hope that it is loved by poetry lovers and book lovers, alike. But mostly, I wrote this book for specific reason. I have endured a great deal of hurt in my life. I reached a point when I was willing to do whatever it takes to move on and be the happy person I knew I could be. This book began as a cathartic process. Using poetry I allowed myself to remember, to go back through my past hurts and experience each and every stage of grief. I moved past denial, I let go of anger, I let myself by sad, and finally I accepted. Everything I held in for the sake of being strong.. I let go.

Publishing this book is the final step I had to take to really become free. By making my words, emotions, and heartache, available to all, it releases me from the guilt, shame, and fear that I have been carrying. It is my true hope that this book reaches those who have been hurt by someone they love, someone who has endured a toxic relationship, someone who cannot seem to move on.

My intent in publishing this work is to convey to others that they are not alone. That love and hope are possible and tangible to those who seek it.

About Through The Trees: Take a walk through the trees, a poetically written journey of nature and metaphor. Experience a wilderness that comes alive with a hauntingly enchanting spirit. We all have or will experience the heartache at the end of a relationship. It could be with a friend, a love, or even someone from our own family. We grieve all the same. This humble book of poetry is a journey of healing. Each chapter represents a stage of grief. The writer touches the hurting soul in a most compassionate way with artful words that are deeply vulnerable and true to the experience of loss. Challenge yourself to deep self reflection as you take a journey through denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and finally acceptance. May you find your way out of the woods and finally be able to see the forest through the trees.

The Sun and the Vine

~From Through The Trees: Chapter 5 Acceptance

A shadow creeps onto the wall capturing the sun’s rays.
The vine shivers in the cold and for the light it prays.
The vine reaches up to the sun calling its name aloud.
The shadow stands still, the shadow of a cloud.


“Sun! Sun!” cries the vine, “Give me back the light!”
It withers with a sorrow and calmly comes the night.
The clouds collide with others; their thunder chases the wind
The vine looks up with hope, only rain the cloud did send.


In the coming morning, dew set upon its leaves.
The vine stands still, it cries and it grieves.
The sun looks down upon it with confusion in its eyes,
“Why do you cry, my vine? Didn't you know that I would rise?”

The vine looks up with a dewy tear,
“My sun when you are away, I truly fear.
You left me to the cold of the night.
Without you I am filled with such a fright.”

“My vine, do not fear. I raised you from a seed,
I would never leave your side and will provide what you need.
You may fear when I am gone each and every night.
But, my dearest vine, I tell you,

You need the dark and rain as much as you need my light.”

Moment in the Night

~ From Through the Trees: Chapter 4 Bargaining

In the deep woods far from many lights

The stars fill the sky like frothy milk .

The scent of Alyssum sweet as honey in the night

Is draping the ground like soft white silk.

All can be seen in the moon’s brightness

Illuminating everything within its scope

Casting starlight onto the lake’s surface

And glistening blades of grass on the hill slopes.

The night appearing to be so gently calm

All life it holds seems to be in peace

And after such turbulent ventures

There is relief in such attainable ease.

I feel a sense of safety in this night

It as if tonight alone was called in truce,

So without foreboding I might freely roam

Passing through realms of bitter spruce.

Glaring eyes are held in the caves

And sneering mouths are tightly bound

Passage is granted for the night

For the moment I am safe and sound.

I cannot see the lurking monsters

Only the night’s beauty is lit by moon.

It is in these moments that I wonder

If I cast judgment far too harsh and too soon.

I realize now that I have found sweet content

This calm night is how I had wished it to be seen

For in this journey there is so much I could resent

But now I see beyond its smoky screen.

Within me I am stirred by a hopeful presence

I release it with a sigh from wakeless bliss.

I see far into the forest’s eye and find fortune

To have known a moment such as this.

---

Copyright © Nina C. Palmer 2014. All rights reserved.

The Cloud

~ From Through the Trees: Chapter 3 Depression

The Cloud

Starlit eyes grace the dark night clouds.

Blanketing the heavens with a muslin shroud,

It drapes silently over the forest canopy.

Drifting its train through the pine trees.

It falls between the branches to the floor,

Sweeping the earth as many times before.

Dragging along following the winds.

With no repentance for its sins.

Caught up in gnarly twigs and boughs

Remnants linger behind as coddled clouds.

Hugged in the branches caressed in leaves.

It sobs of dew on pine bark sleeves.

The break of day crests over the mountain.

The night clouds come apart like cotton.

It trembles in its warmth and starts to thin,

Mourning begins to awaken within.

And from the tree limbs it drifts below,

Over fallen needles it sulks with sorrow,

Dissipating into a heavy humid mist,

It wanders; questioning why it even exists.

Copyright © Nina C. Palmer 2014. All rights reserved.

Yellow Roses

~from Through the Trees, Chapter 2: Anger

You have spoiled the seeds that you buried

With trample and flood at your feet,

And though we grew with fury,

Our scents could never be sweet.

Our crooked stems extend with angst,

You played with our petals too long,

We’ve become tangled and interlaced

Our moment of perfect plucking is gone.

For who would want a stem so bent—

Unsuitable for the shape of any vase

So here we are un-plucked with discontent,

Writhing with the sun on our face.

Shall we be your yellow roses,

Releasing all our petals to you

To be gathered in gnarly poesies

Or left to wilt into a bed of Rue?

Rooted in hardened clay

Our garden in need of tending

Petals on the wind seem at play,

But they are just pretending.

And when the blossom dies

Neither flower nor bud to find,

All will be heard is the gardener’s cries

From the piercing of thorns left behind.

---

© 2014 Nina C Palmer. All rights reserved

The Mist

~ From Through the Trees, Chapter 1: Denial

Going down a lone dirt path,

It winds and twists through the valley

Swarmed in vines tangled in wrath

Clinging to earth feverishly and madly.

The mist stretches down the mountain’s side

Into the vale it hangs heavy down below.

In the haze, I am able to run and hide,

Left alone to distress and throe.

On this aimless path I wander,

The morning’s mist full of gloom.

I walk all alone so quiet and somber

The air is scented of Spanish Broom.

The mist is heavy and fills my chest,

I can’t breathe its humidity and I gasp.

To my knees I fall and I lay to rest.

My breath is stifled and filled with rasp.

Bogged down by the mist’s weight,

I drown in nothing more than heavy air.

Lying on a dirt path I accept my fate,

I am enveloped fully in its snare.

On this unmarked path I will not be found.

It seems the fog will forever persist,

And to this path I am eternally bound,

Fatefully indentured to the mist.

Copyright © Nina C. Palmer 2014. All rights reserved